"My Two Favorite Kiddos"

Griffin loves for me to call her and Jack "My two favorite kiddos". They both are so very special, as any child is to their mother. I like to sit back and watch them or at the end of the day think about the funny and amazing things that they do. Griffin is the spitting image of me when I was little. She is very much 3 going on 13. I have to laugh as I pick up her toys at the arrangement of items and the choices she makes. I find flashlights and jewelry laying around like she is pretending to go on a treasure hunt. She is also very into baby dolls. He favorites are small dolls from different countries around the world. They are about three inches tall and dressed in traditional clothing from their countries. She loves them, and I do too. They are beautiful from light hair and skin from Sweden to very dark hair and skin from Jamaica. I love how she pairs them up. She also has a few Barbies. She has a Hannah Montana Barbie, a blond Barbie in a swim suit, a Halloween Barbie in a beautiful witch costume, and two of my old Barbies. One has red hair, and one is the old tropical Barbie with LONG black hair and sun tanned skin. The thing that makes me smile is that the Barbies are the mommy's and the little dolls are the children. When I play with her, without even thinking, I try to match them up so they look alike like Mom and daughter. But she has no discrimination of color which is a beautiful lesson she has reminded me of. She will have the mommies matched with the baby how ever she feels will make a beautiful family. Her two favorite play names are Holly and Polly. Whenever we play she wants to be called Holly and me to be called Polly. I have NO idea where these came from. I remember from my childhood my pretend name was Nicole Anderson. I have no idea where that came from to this day either. Griffin is just a joy to watch as she is figuring out how to make her personality come out in everything she does, from picking out her own cloths to wearing my high heels around the house. Jack's nurse, Janine, comes every week and she is always dressed very pretty, and Griffin ADORES her. When Janine takes off her shoes, Griffin goes to them and wears them around the house until it is time for Janine to leave. Griffin is very good at walking in heels. I'm afraid my little girl is going to have very expensive taste.

Now, my little Jack. Jack has taught me and Ryan both a lesson is perseverance, and fighting without holding back. Fighting in a good way. Jack does not give up. He may have to stop and rest when his little body gets tired and weak, but you just give him a few days or even hours and he has bounced back. When have had some really good days, but some really BAD days when it comes to Jack's health. Most of you know some, I try not to dwell on it or jump on the phone or Internet to share it all. But we have been told SO many times that the end is near for Jack. We were told he'd never make it through pregnancy, he would never survive his birth, we would not survive the NICU, he wouldn't live through the day, the month, etc. At one time Jack was really sick, and we were told if he did not wake up by around midnight that night he would probably not live. Well leave it to Jack to push everything to the limit. That time he woke up at 3:00 AM. He likes to change the rules, he is outside the norm in all that he does. You can already see his personality in his eyes. God bless him, his little body does not allow him to do all that you can see he wants to do. Right now he is on oxygen 24/7. We have tried to take him off with doctors guidance, but we keep coming back to it. He seems to just need that assistance to help relax him. That is one less thing to struggle with, so by all means we are going to provide that for him. I wish I knew what all went on in his head. What does he think of us? What does he want to be when he grows up? I pray to God that he does not hurt. I know his favorite places to be are tucked right up beside his Daddy's chest nestled in his arms and right next to my heartbeat with his hand holding on to the collar of my shirt. We both hold him very differently, but he gets very comfortable with both of us.
There have been a lot of parents who come to me and say that their kids pray for Jack, and it is with the most raw emotion and kindness that they ask God to be with this little guy. Many children at our church, at Griffin's pre-school and even at the private christian school here in Jax, they have Jack on their prayer list. My eyes fill with tears at the beautiful image of Jesus with the children crawling on his lap. These little ones are the ones we need to learn from. Crawling into the lap of Jesus and adoring him, enjoying him, and asking him to protect their friends.

I think my God in Heaven for my children and the lessons they teach me. They teach me to have big dreams, play pretend and enjoy life, look past people's outward appearance, we can all be a family no matter what color, size, or background we have, to fight with every fiber of our being, persevere, live for God's purpose, pray for my friends, love without holding back, and it is good to find a warm soft place to snuggle down into to find rest. Thank you to my "two favorite kiddos".