Jack's Day

Yesterday, November 12, 2009 was one year ago since Jack passed away. I had been dreading it all week, and all year long. I decided to take a few days off of school just to be with Griffin and go to Valdosta. Yesterday morning, Ryan and I started the morning with a prayer for peace and comfort for our family. Ryan led the most beautiful prayer and just talked to God about our feelings of losing Jack, and how Jack had changed our lives. Then he prayed for Griffin and our future of whether we will have anymore kids. We prayed that they would be healthy and that Griffin would be healthy. We also prayed for all the people who's lives Jack touched. At about 10 until 7:00 (the hour Jack went to Heaven) I lit a candle in his room, grabbed one of his baby blankets, and snuggled up in the twin bed in his room. I dozed on and off praying and remembering Jack. I treasured each smile and kiss. Then I cried for the sadness and pain of loss and any suffering he may have endured. After I got up I started getting text messages and facebook messages of how other friends and family were celebrating Jack's life. People were releasing balloons with their kids they had decorated with messages to Jack. They were wearing BUTTERFLY clothes, scrubs, pins, and necklaces that day to work. They were lighting candles and praying for us all day long. I was so encouraged by those messages. I also had a friend from Perry, Florida who's little girl had her Earthly birthday yesterday. She had messaged me that they would light a cupcake candle for Jack's Heavenly Birthday. I LOVED that, I had never thought of it that way. I have to share her quote from her kids:

"We just had our little Jack cupcake celebration...and Caroline sang over and over...and over and over....and over and over "Happy Heavenly Birthday to you", until Carson (who is 4) finally put his hand to his ear and said...and I quote..."What? (pause) Caroline, Baby Jack just talked to me. He said you can't sing and to please be quiet." :)

Don't you just love kids? I love how children just fell in love with Jack too and prayed for him and celebrated his life, and his transition of life into Heaven. God bless the little children.

Griffin and I then hit the road to Valdosta. We met Dad and Sarah for lunch (Mom was out of town with her sisters, and very much missed) and then the four of us got balloons and released them at sunset at the cemetery where Jack is in Valdosta. We stood and watched as the balloons lifted into Heaven. It was a precious and beautiful site. Griffin choose a flower balloon. She wrote a message and drew a picture of Jack on her card. She tells me often. "Mom, I am growing up on Earth and Jack is growing up in heaven!" I tell her that is right. We often talk about what Jack is doing in Heaven as he grows. What sweet conversations. It started to look rainy as we were leaving the cemetery. She was real quite and then she said, "Mom, why does it rain?" I said, "Well, God is watering the plants, tree, and flowers." She thought a minute and said, "Man, God has a really big watering can!" I love her vision of God. She is my precious saving grace. She keeps me going and lightens the mood when the sadness gets too tense or too sad.

The experience of the week and day ended up very special! It was a time of reflection and sharing with all the others who loved Jack as well. I was touched by all the sweet ways that people celebrated Jack's special day. Love to all!
Blessings!!!