Christmas 2008

Merry Late Christmas to All!
We just got home from a week of Christmas in Kansas. We made the 24 hour drive to see Ryan's family in Ashland, KS. It was such a nice time. I was really worried that Christmas this year would be sad and hard, but it was a very nice time. Griffin really enjoyed the season first with my parents in Valdosta. We stopped in and opened presents with them, and had birthday cake with Mom. Her birthday was Christmas day. Happy Birthday again Mom. We love you. We spent the night with them and then drove out to the cemetery in Valdosta to take Jack a Christmas tree and tell him how much we love him. Then we were off for our drive. We drove about16 hours. Stopping some and eating or shopping. Then we made it to Ryan's parents and surprised his Mom. We came out a few days earlier then she thought. It was worth it to see the surprise on her face. Spent time with family and friends.

One Christmas Eve we went to a candle light service at the Christian Church in Ashland. It was absolutely beautiful. It is just what I needed to settle my soul and mind and help me focus on the true meaning of the season. As I sat there in the candlelight darkness listening to story of Baby Jesus' birth I was brought to tears thinking of the birth of my own son, Jack. I love the part of the scripture in Luke 2:19 when the shepherds and wise men were coming to visit them and see the new baby that "Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Like any mom you try to let every moment of your newborn child just wash over you and settle in so that you never forget it. That is how I was with Jack. I treasured up the way he smelled and cried, and the feel of his warm body and the sweet sounds he made. I will never forget these things and I will always ponder them in my heart.

We had a beautiful Christmas day and enjoyed opening gifts with my in laws and both Ryan's sister and their boyfriends, and Aunt Kathy, Uncle Steven, and Papaw. It was a very good time. Then we travelled 24 hours back to Valdosta. When we got to Mom and Dad's we dropped Griffin off and Ryan and I headed back to spend some time at Jack's grave. Ryan and I sat down and talked about the special things that Jack meant to both of us. We started off Crying and ending with smiles at the joy of our sweet Baby Jack. While we were talking I looked up in the sky at a huge white fluffy cloud, and a hole the shape of a perfect heart appeared in the cloud. I told Ryan to look and we both looked up for just a few moments and then the heart just drifted away. Ryan said , "We LOVE you too Jack!" And we both felt so much peace that Jack is happy and in a beautiful place. Then we thanked God for the beautiful gift he shared with us, and we came home. I am leaving you with a poem Ryan's Aunt Kathy found and gave us this year on Christmas Eve:

I'm Spending Christmas

With Jesus Christ This Year

"I see the countless Christmas Trees, around the world below,

With tiny lights like heaven's stars reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear,

For I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,

But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring,

for it is beyond description to hear an angel sing.

I can't tell you of the splendor or the peace here in this place.

Can you just imagine Christmas with our Savior, face to face?

I'll ask him to lighten your spirit as I tell him of your love.

So then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful, and let your spirit sing,

for I'm spending Christmas in heaven, and I'm walking with our King!"

Merry Christmas Baby Jack, and to all our family, friends, and love ones.